Keeping disagreements constructive

Very often, well-trained and well-intentioned people have different ideas of the best way to do something. Sometimes a disagreement involves a small issue that does not affect anyone else, but sometimes it relates to a bigger issue that will affect many people, or even the future direction of an entire organization. In the latter case, healthy discussion of the issue that considers the pros and cons of both sides can be the best way to determine the best path forward. But how can you keep a productive debate from turning into a heated argument? Here are some things you can do.

Identify the issue and assumptions. What is the core issue under dispute? Participants may be coming at an issue with different perspectives and thinking about things quite differently. Taking the time to spell out the issue and to identify assumptions on both sides can help identify the root cause of the disagreement and keep the future discussion focused on productive areas. If the disagreement involves competing priorities, these should be clearly delineated. Basically, everyone needs to agree on where they disagree and acknowledge that the issue is important enough to merit discussion.

Set parameters. Once everyone agrees on the issue, the surrounding parameters can be addressed. Personal attacks are absolutely off limits, as is bringing up historical or unrelated issues. Whenever possible, arguments should be based on facts, not emotions. Set a timeline for research, discussion, and decision-making, and make sure everyone is aware of it.

When there is a power differential between the disagreeing parties, it is especially important for everyone to know—and feel—that they can express their opinions without fear of retribution. Sometimes methods for anonymous participation are needed.

Everyone involved must also understand when and how the final decision will be made—must it be unanimous, or does one person have ultimate authority?

Focus on learning. A great place to start is by learning as much as possible about why the other side has the opinion that they do. Ask sincere questions to find out what influenced their decision and to learn how firmly resolved they are. Maybe there are external circumstances of which you are unaware, or maybe they are looking more, or less, long term or big picture than you are. Make sure to listen actively, including reflecting back what they said, so they know you heard and understood them. Always be respectful of the other person’s actions and decisions.

Assume the other person wants to learn. Point out places where you agree and where you can compromise. Do not dismiss their ideas, but make sure they understand your side. Explain why you hold your opinion, and provide any facts or historical information they may not have had. Keep in mind that you are speaking only for yourself—or if you are not, make that explicitly clear.

End gracefully. No matter what the final decision is, accept it wholeheartedly and do your very best to implement it successfully. Nothing shows your professionalism more than turning on a dime to support and promote something that was not your idea—or even something you argued against.

Disagreeing is never pleasant, but with some professionalism on both sides, you can use differences of opinion to explore issues thoroughly and arrive at the best decision for everyone.

Get involved in the discussion. The ACS Career Tips column is published the first issue of every month in C&EN. Send your comments and ideas for topics for future columns to careernavigator@acs.org.